Laughter is The Best Medicine
A student who was the joke of the class actually suggested to me “teacher, you should make a section in your website called jokes, and put up all the stuff we laugh about there.”
That’s a great idea! Study hard, but must enjoy life right?….humour is good for the brain. So hope you guys enjoy them.
Student : “You haven’t taught me new chapter yet.”
Teacher : “You haven’t learnt how to walk properly and now you want to learn how to fly?”
Student (with a straight serious face) : “Oh I’ve mastered all my previous topics d, just that I’ve forgotten most of them.”
Teacher : “Do you guys know that there are students who get single digit mark for Add Math?”
Students : “Oh wow, that’s so sad.”
Student 1 : “I got negative for Add Math exam.”
Everyone in class :”Hah? How can you get negative?”
Student 1 (with a straight somber face) “I got 5 marks for my exam. Then minus 8 marks from my homework demerit.” So I got -3 for Add Math.”
Teacher : ” You girls must keep your focus when doing Math questions. If you lose your focus, you’ll surely miss something.”
Student : “Yes teacher. We’re focusing but we can’t help it if we get distracted.”
(students and teacher continue to talk….)
Teacher : ” What was I talking about just now?” before you asked me the question?”
Student : “See teacher, even you can’t keep your focus if you talk.”
Teacher : Ok, here are the answers for the rest of the questions, go home and do them. See you all next week.
Student 1 : Bye teacher, going for eclipse now.
Teacher : Huh? what eclipse? Is there an eclipse tonight? Didn’t read the newspaper for so many days.
Student 2 : Eclipse la… teacher.
Student 3 : Twilight?
Student 2 : New Moon? Teacher you’re such a nerd.. hahaha
Teacher : OMG, so malu… hahaha.
This happened in my PMR math class.
Student 1 : Teacher, f-6f is -5f right?
Teacher : Yes that’s right.
Student 2 : How come it cannot be -7f?
Teacher : (vomit blood)
Teacher : Repeat after me.. Silk Silk Silk Silk
Student 1 : Silk Silk Silk Silk
Teacher : What does cow drink?
Student 1 : Milk
Pause…. then everyone laughs..
Student 1 : OMG… I’m going to kenakan my bf later.
Teacher : Very funny right? What lesson did you learn from this?
Student 2 : err… Cows don’t drink milk?
Teacher : Duh.. everyone knows that. What exactly did you learn ?
Student 3 : Must think first before answering.
Teacher : Yes … and don’t be easily influenced by what others say. Use your own brain.
1 week later, in the next class (continue to next joke)
Student 1 : Teacher you know what, I asked my bf the cow question.
Teacher and everyone else : So what happened?
Student 1 : I asked him to repeat Silk Silk Silk Silk, he repeated Silk Silk Silk Silk. Cows drink what? He said “Silk”!
Student 1 : How can I marry such a man next time?
Student 1 : Cikgu, tak dapat jawapan.
Teacher walks over to check student’s working.
Teacher : Ni, macamana kamu dapat 8 kat sini?
Student 1 : Huh? Errr….
Teacher : Kamu pakai apa untuk radius?
Student 1 : (blur face) Tak pakai apa-apa.
Student 2 : Ni,, ada pakai baju pun. hahaha..
Teacher : Kalau tak pakai apa-apa, macamana kamu kira sampai dapat 8 la?
Student 1 : (Totally blur face)
Student : Hey teacher, is this correct? The answer looks wierd.
Teacher : Hmm.. I don’t know… I’ll mark it when you’re done with all the questions. If it’s wrong, then you just do them again haha
Student : Grrr….
Teacher : Are you growling? Like your dog?
Student : Yes, it helps me to release stress you know.
Student 1 : Teacher, check out N….’s new watch. Make a guess how much it cost?
Teacher : Let me see… wow! (teacher takes it off from student’s hand to look closer)
Teacher : Hmm… there are no numbers? How do you tell the time?
Student 2 (owner of watch) : Teacher must figure out herself la…
Teacher : Oh… I was looking at it upside down.. no wonder la. Hmm… someone who’s mathematically challenged can’t use this watch la… What time is it hah?
Student 3 : Ya teacher – you’re mathematically challenged! hahaha… What time is it now?
Teacher : Hmm… let’s see, one rectangle means one hour, so there’s 8 rectangles- so it’s 8:05… hah! I’m not mathematically challenged duh.
Student 4 : What’s the brand? Nooka? Is it the chocolate company that sells chocolate nugget?
Student 2 : That’s Nougat la.. This is Nooka.
This happened in a class on Sunday evening and PMR Trial is starting on Monday.
Student 1 : Teacher, do you have any tips to study Sejarah last minute?
Teacher : What grade are you aiming to get?
Student 1 : A la..
Teacher : How many chapters you haven’t studied?
Student 1 : Actually I haven’t started Sejarah yet.
Teacher : Huh? Tomorrow is trial and you haven’t started?
Student 1 : I lost my trial time table…
Student 2 : Tomorrow’s Geo you know.
Student 1 : Hah really ah?.. shit.. I don’t have protractor, and I don’t have ruler.
Student 2 : Ya.. me too. I lost my ruler.
Teacher : Wow! and you girls tell me that you want 7As for trial.
(This one was told to me by a parent, not what happened in my class)
A parent spent many days researching for the right college and course for his son after SPM. They were deciding between Medicine and Aeronautical Engineering. One day he went to an Education Fair. He passed by a particular booth of a local college, and this was what happened
Parent : Excuse me, I’m looking for some information on Aeronautical Engineering program for my son.
Education Consultant : Oh yes.. you’ve come to the right place. We offer this course. But your son needs to have a minimum of 5 credits from SPM to enter this course.
Parent : Oh.. but my son only has one credit.. how?
Education Consultant : Only one credit? That is difficult, but I think still can. Perhaps you can fill up the application form first? I can try to apply for you.
Parent : I think you misunderstood… my son got 9 distinctions and 1 credit.
Note : (the parent actually asked me… “can you believe it Miss Ng, they only need 5 credits or less in SPM to produce aeronautical engineers who will build, design and repair our aircraft?)
Teacher : Hey, your dog has something in her mouth? Is it a rat?
Student : Oh no… that’s just her dog.
Teacher : Huh? her dog?
Student : Yup – it’s her dog.
Teacher : Your dog has a dog? That’s cool.
Teacher : You know ah.. your friend J is quite good in Add Math.. he told me he got an A for the last Mid Year exam.
Student : Hah! Really? He’s a liar la. His twin is in my class. He got only 1 mark for Add Math last exam.
Teacher : So?, doesn’t mean he can’t get A just because his twin doesn’t.
Student : It’s wierd la teacher. Some more, he got last in class you know. Worse than me.
Teacher : So what did you get?
Student : Oh.. I got 3rd last.
Teacher : Wow! you got 3rd last. That’s a consolation!
Teacher : Hmm….. dah betul jawapan kamu. Boleh buat Add Math pun. Macamana dulu boleh dapat single digit mark?
Student : Dulu belum belajar menghayati Add Math.
Student 1 : Teacher, you know both D and I are on our school’s girls basketball team.
Teacher : Wow! That’s unbelievable
Student 2 : Teacher! It’s not good to look down on us.
Teacher : Yeah.. don’t you have to be a certain height to play basketball? So you can dribble well?
Student 2 : Yes – cos I’m closer to the ground
(PS :- Student 2 is 5 feet tall and Student 1 is 5’1″ tall)
Student : Teacher, this dry meat is SOO delicious!
Teacher : Oh, that’s a lot of dry meat. Do you have smaller pieces?
Student : Just eat the whole piece teacher. Use your hands.
Teacher : It’s fattening and messy.
Student : Teacher! It’s Chinese New Year. Don’t you know it’s good luck to eat more during Chinese New Year?
Teacher : Oh Yeah right… and do you know that it’s VERY good luck to do more homework during Chinese New Year? (evil grin)
(PS : – these are all real life situation of what happened in my classes… and yes, the teacher here is me, and the students are all the brats I teach ) haha. Enjoy.